The Inmost Cave

We were completely engulfed in darkness. I could no longer see either of the aliens. I could not even see my hand in front of my face.

“What happened?” I called into the void.

“The Inmost Cave is the heart of your darkness,” one of the aliens said, I couldn’t tell which one. The submergence into blackness was more than disorienting; it was nearly maddening.

“This is where you must face your deepest fears and the darkest truths about who you are as a person.”

Dread had already crept upon me and held me in a vise-like grip. I spun around, hoping beyond hope that there was some end to the abyss I had plummeted into. Realizing the futility of my search, I succumbed to the despair which overtook me.

“Ok, got it,” I said. “Can you turn the light back on now?”

“This is where your specters live.”

Even in the darkness, I could see them, dancing in the shadows like ebony flames. My heart felt like it would erupt out of my chest as all of my worst fears embraced me in their clutches, completely enveloping me in a living nightmare. I fought against them, swatted at them and punched with my fists. Though my hardest efforts drifted through them like smoke, their attacks pounded on me, firm, solid, and painful.

“Right, specters. Light please.”

“This is where you confront what is hidden.”

My weaknesses rushed to my mind, crushing my strength. My addictions, my worries, my anxieties, things that I was even unable to discuss with my therapist enshrouded me. The specters waved them in front of me, taunting me with them and piling them on like an ox’s burden. Though the weight was overwhelming, I realized that I was able to stand against the strain.

“Found them! Light please.”

“This is where you face all that you have denied.”

Distressed and ridden with angst, I stood firm against the swarm of turmoil. Though they pummeled me and sought to destroy me, my nearly exploding heart started to swell and I felt an inner light offering me buoyancy amidst the attack. For the first time, I sensed a resurgence of strength and the ability to push back.

“Got it! Let’s go! Lights!”

“This is where you resolve your inner conflicts.”

As the light continued to grow within me, I was overwhelmed with a rising heat. All of my attackers began to melt away in its glow, and I realized that the strength I had needed to overcome them lived within me. It had always been there, hidden behind the ghosts that now shriveled before it.

“Unconflicted,” I said. “How about a little…?” I noticed a speck of light in the distance, slowly growing in streams of color as they painted the walls of the void.

“This is where you confront death.”

I remembered every story of near death experiences and the compulsion to move into the light. As the radiance drew toward me, I realized death as a journey of its own, a transmission from one being to the next, an offering of new life as I cast off the life I knew before and all of the shackles that held me prisoner to it.

“There is no death,” I said. “Just the transmogrification of life.”

“This is where you find out what you are made of.”

Unbound by the darkness which held me, I basked in the light as it illuminated me to the depths of my soul, and I realized that I was one with it.

“This is where you prepare for the Supreme Ordeal?” Iman said, as the two aliens smiled at me, once again in the center of Five Points Park.

“Excuse me?” I said, a glimmer of fear poking me from the darkness I’d emerged from. “You mean that wasn’t it?”

“No,” said Yewell. “But now you realize that you have what it takes to overcome it.”