Cultivating Relationships and Creating Community
“Realizing our value and appreciating our community is all well and good,” I said, “but we’ve still got plenty to fear. There’s terrorism and war and global warming and pollution…”
“Why is it,” Yewell interrupted, “that the only abundance you realize is how many things you have to fear?”
“Is it my fault the world is such a scary place?”
“Probably not yours personally, but most of the fears you mentioned are manmade,” said Iman.
“You do have a quite a knack for that,” added Yewell.
“Well, at least we’re good at something.”
“We wouldn’t’ necessarily classify that as good,” said Iman. “With all of the wonderful creations you have developed, it is one of the most amazing peculiarities that you put so much focus on the fears you’ve manufactured.”
“How do we shift gears?” I asked.
“First,” said Iman, “you need to develop your character like we said. Second, start realizing the value of your relationships.”
“How do we do that?”
“Look at the next of Dr. Covey’s habits,” Iman continued. “Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
“Yeah, we’re not to good at the whole ‘understanding’ thing,” I said, “That’s one of the reasons we’re so afraid of each other.”
“And that is also one of the reasons you need to cultivate that habit, “Yewell said.”If you can begin by understanding those close to you, those with whom you have developed an Emotional Bank Account, you will soon find yourself being able to understand those who don’t even know you at all.”
“You mean like the terrorists?” I said. “I already understand them. They want to kill us.”
“Do you know why?” Iman asked.
“I don’t know. Apparently, they hate freedom.”
“Do you know why?” echoed Yewell.
“I don’t know. They just do.”
“Then you do not understand them” said Iman.
“Well, how am I supposed to understand them when they keep trying to blow us up?”
“You’re not,” Iman said. “That’s why you have to start with those close to you. The people you deal with every day. Your family, your friends, your customers, your associates. Start with trying to understand them and work out the simple relationships before you jump into the complex ones.”
“But that’s not going to keep me from getting blown up,”
“Couldn’t hurt,” Yewell said. “Besides, understanding is a practice. And you guys have got things so messed up, you need all the practice you can get.”
“Gee thanks.”
“Just pointing out the obvious,” he shrugged.
“How can you say that we have things so messed up yet we shouldn’t succumb to fear?”
“Because anything messed up can be cleaned up,” he said.
“Every problem creates a solution,” added Iman.
“Every discouragement offers the opportunity for encouragement.”
“Every mistake leads you closer to success.”
“Is everybody on your planet an optimist?” I said.
“We think win/win,” assured Iman.
“The opportunities available to mankind at this point in time are almost unbelievable,” said Yewell. “Your communicative capacities are immense. Your technologies afford you the possibility to create relationships with people all over the world,”
“Even those parts of the world that you’re afraid of,” Iman chimed in. “If you can use these portals of understanding wisely, you truly can create a whole new level of being.”
“How do we go about doing that?” I asked. “I mean, I’m getting into the whole social network thing – Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, and all that – but it’s just all moving so fast that I don’t even know where to start. There are almost 300 applications for Twitter alone. Every day I’m getting hit up with ideas on how to make money, increase my followers, and become a millionaire overnight. How do I make sense of it all?”
“Don’t rush it,” said Yewell. “Understand first that these are social networks. You are creating a community and developing relationships. Those things take time and care to cultivate.”
“Start,” Iman said, “by working on establishing your character through what you communicate and who you communicate with. Be discerning with what you put out there and who you put it out there to. Find people that share you interests and deliver information that they would find relevant. By doing this, you will build up your Emotional Bank Account and develop trust within your new community.
“Do you remember what Dr. Covey said in the book about ethos, pathos, and logos?” asked Yewell.
“The Musketeers?” I said.
“Ethos,” he said, ignoring me, “is your character – your integrity, maturity, and abundance mentality. It is what makes you appealing and trustworthy to others. Pathos is your ability to listen to others and understand their needs, desires, and point of view.”
“Logos,” Iman continued, “is the logic you apply to unite the two. As you develop your own character and seek to understand those in your community, even your global community, then you can seek to be understood.”
“If you will start to practice this,” said Yewell, “you will start to alleviate many of your fears, find purpose through new avenues of service to your community, and discover as-yet-unrealized abundance through new business opportunities.”
“That,” continued Iman, “is where things will really start to synergize.”
